I have found that as I get older my single circle gets smaller. The fun group of women with impulsive ideas and zero responsibility are now mothers, wives or in relationships of their own. My happiness for them is sincere as I have never put dating and being in a relationship on my priority list. My timeline in life is a bit slower than most and now that I am in my early 30’s I find the pressure to be like everyone else a bit overwhelming.
I am a free spirit and extremely comfortable with being by myself. But I feel suffocated by the questions and sad looks from those inquiring about my personal life. I certainly do not want to be alone forever but it does not eat away at me the way others think it should.
My background in yoga and spirituality has given me insight into the universe and its mysterious inner workings. There is an order to our lives, (believe it or not) and that order happens in time no matter what hurdles we have to jump over. For me, what never made sense in the past, always ended up making sense in the present. If a horrible dating life and years of being single is what will ultimately bring me to the right person, then I am ok with waiting for that.
Everyone is running at his or her own pace and goals vary depending on the person. Some want marriage and kids, others desire a high profile career and many want to travel the world. These goals run in different orders for each individual and the key to happiness is remembering that.
Being in my 30’s are some of the best years of my life. I have found that many women are in the same position as me and I want them to know it is ok.
Here is a little bit of levelheaded advice from one single woman to the next.
It is 100% ok to be single. The world will not stop spinning on its axis because you are single. Life will go on the way it is supposed to. Being alone does not have to be lonely. The times when we are alone are when we really learn about who we are and what we truly want. With clarity comes answers to burning questions and those answers guide us toward our true path.
Don’t let other people’s opinions affect how you feel about yourself. It is human nature for people to spew out their insecurities onto the next person in order to make themselves feel better. Those who would be miserable single could never understand how a person would be happy single. They pry and judge because of their confusion. If you are unhappy being single, remember in time the right person will come along. Look at all of the success stories out there.
Don’t settle. Find out who you are first before jumping into a relationship. Live your life with authenticity, passion, and keep running towards the direction you seek. Do not take a pit stop because you think the road is too long.
Limit your time as a hermit. (I have to follow this for myself.) Although it is ok to be alone, do not make it a habit. When you get into the rut of being alone for an extended period of time, it is hard to get out of it. There is comfort in staying home, but try to be around friends as much as possible. Accept invites out and make sure your single ways do not turn into a reality TV show topic.
Be open to many possibilities out there. What you seek may not be what ends up standing in front of you at the end of the day. Try to be open to what could be thrown in your direction. That does not necessarily mean men. A new job, living in a different place, or saying yes to a coffee date with a friend can all lead to what is meant to be in our lives. As cheesy as it sounds, it is true.
There are a lot of people out there writing on this topic and giving advice. I personally wrote this as a reminder to myself that it is ok to be single in my 30's. Always do what is best for you. You are the only one that knows what is going in in that head of yours. Laugh and enjoy the ride.