The Part Where It Gets Better

Around this time last year, I was coming out of the worst time in my life. I have written about it before and allowed it to be the start of every conversation. I spent over a year trying to figure out why I had dizziness, fogginess, and many other symptoms that affected my quality of life. It took hold of every thought and sucked all of the joy and energy out of me. “Will I ever get better? How will I make it through the day? I NEED to make it through the day.” Those questions and thoughts took over my mind, clouded up my soul and built up a barrier between this beautiful life and me.

I went to several doctors who weren’t certain of a diagnosis, delaying any treatment plan to help me get better. I would obsessively research my symptoms online plummeting into a dark whole of fear. During my most difficult times, I would turn to self-care (before, I would turn to a glass of wine.) I used self-care techniques such as therapy balls and therapeutic yoga to ease discomfort and soothe my stiff muscles that were a result of stress and limited movement. My self-care techniques were like someone wrapping their arms around me, telling me that everything would be okay. I so desperately wanted to feel healthy again that any form of comfort eased my stress and concerns.

There was a pivotal moment when one of the doctors I spoke with asked me how I would feel if I had to live with this condition forever. “What if it was just your thing? Everyone has their thing.”  Hearing those words was like a knife through my heart...but a stab well worth the pain. That was the moment that I promised myself to never give up. No matter how long it would take me, I would feel healthy and grounded again. 

For a while, I felt like I was running on a hamster wheel, trying so hard to move towards sanity, healing, and stability. During my worst times when I felt suffocated, lost and very sick, I turned to my mother for guidance. She was so certain that I would be ok and feel myself again (if not better) that she made me believe it.

After multiple visits with neurologists and ear doctors, someone recommended to go to the head of neurology at JFK Neuroscience Institute in Edison, NJ. He was my golden ticket. It was a frustrating journey but I finally found a doctor who could diagnose me and pull me out of the confusion and misery I was experiencing for so long. Dr. Kramer diagnosed me with Migraine Associated Vertigo (Vestibular Migraines) and gave me coping skills and medication that slowly brought me back to myself again. He answered every question about why I constantly felt dizzy, weak, and ‘fuzzy.’ His answers and promises of healing, brought me to a place where I could finally see through the murky waters I was slowly trying to navigate through. I started to feel better within a month’s time and overtime (it took a while) returned to the life I had been praying for.

There are many positive things that came out of this negative time in my life. I stopped drinking alcohol, I got a promotion at work, my favorite yoga studio built a new location 3 minutes from my home, I got a new car, and I’m even closer with my parents than I was before. Every so often I forget where I was this time last year and return to a negative headspace. It’s interesting that during those times my symptoms resurface, sending a little reminder to be grateful for the healthy moments, grateful for the things in life we all take for granted. Family, friends, health, love, fresh air, and a strong stable body.

Because I didn’t give up, changed my routine, readjusted my attitude, I was given a chance to appreciate life in a way I never thought I could. Because of the difficult time I went through, I am going through the best time in my life right now. This is the part where it gets better. If you are ‘in the thick of it’ at the moment, I promise you…it does get better... maybe even better than it was before.

Quick Tips to Lift You Out of Your Office Slump

Certain jobs require hours of sitting at a desk with our eyes staring at a computer. When concentration on work demands takes precedence over how we hold our body in space, the effects are damaging for our health. From our head down to the tips of our toes, we can create pain in the body. Slumped shoulders and forward head posture adds loads of extra pressure on the neck, shoulders, back and spine. Not only does posture affect pain, but how we care for our feet affects our health as well. Ever wonder where those aches and pains come from? 

Adjust your view and take care of those toes when your "work life balance" isn't so balanced. 

Keep it eye level

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Sitting all day and looking down at your monitor will put strain on your neck and back muscles from a constant forward head position. Pain, injury, poor breathing, and many other negative outcomes can occur because of this. What to do?

• Place several books underneath a laptop computer in order to keep the screen eye level. Regular desktop computer? No problem! Adjust your chair up or down to keep your gaze straight ahead.
• Once the screen is level with the eyes, the ears should match over shoulders, shoulders over ribs, and ribs over hips.
• Prop your spine up against the back of the chair to ensure you are sitting upright.
• Sit on your "sitting bones" (ischial tuberosity, the bones at the bottom of your pelvis) to keep your pelvis in a neutral position.
• Place both feet flat on the floor and avoid crossing the legs.
• Pay attention to how often you sit with legs crossed and be more mindful of those habits everyday.

Take your shoes off

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Most shoes are too small or narrow for us and can lead to discomfort in our entire body over time. The bones of our toes are meant to spread and move freely instead of compressed in a shoe for 8 hours a day. The fascia (thin fibrous connective tissue) is interconnected from the arches of our feet all the way up the body from front to back. Because of this, our feet are the door to the health of our body as a whole. What happens in our feet could affect our knees, hips, back, shoulders, neck, breathing, and mental state as well.

• While sitting, move your ankles around in circles. Use your feet to spell out words in cursive. Or if you have a meeting that day, spell out what you’re going to say. This movement will keep the ankle’s mobility in tact.
•  If you don’t have therapy balls or a tennis ball to use, try a sturdy water bottle and roll it under your feet to hydrate stiff, lifeless tissues.
• Invest in shoes that allow your toes to spread and offer support for your arches. You won't regret it.

Most importantly, give yourself breaks throughout the day to get up, walk around, and move your body the way it’s mean to.

Stressed out? Breathe, Massage, Move, and Repeat.

* I am not a doctor. I am a yoga instructor and movement educator that studies the body and loves anatomy. Overtime my advice and knowledge will change. Please always see a doctor for any medical concerns. Thank you!

Let’s all take a collective exhale. Ahhhhhh…okay! Who hasn’t been stressed? We’re human, right? Stress feels as if we have the weight of the world sitting on our shoulders as responsibility lies heavily on our chest. Whether it’s work, family, friends, or planning a big event, life can become stressful and often spiral out of control. Instead of losing your cool when these big moments hit, have a few go-to’s to keep in your back pocket when life starts to stress you out.

BREATHE

Breathing plays a fundamental role in our mental health and overall well-being. Posture, stress, and anxiety factor in to how we inhale and exhale. When stressed or anxious, breathing originates in the chest (clavicular breathing) mostly eliminating the muscle of the diaphragm. Clavicular breathing is a shallow breath that allows for the least amount of oxygen to fill the lungs. Abdominal breathing contracts the diaphragm and triggers the parasympathetic nervous system, calming the body down for relaxation. Sending each inhale down to the lower belly towards the diaphragm, calms the nervous system with each slow repetition. The diaphragm is a large muscle dividing the thoracic and abdominal cavities. It contracts and draws downward during inhalation, sucking air into the lungs like a vacuum. The diaphragm then relaxes and rises up on the exhalation drawing the air out of the lungs. Focusing on each inhale and exhale for several counts is extremely meditative and healing for the body. Keep your breath low and your head held high.

MASSAGE

Different types of myofascial release (applying pressure into myofascial connective tissue) can relieve unwanted tension in the body. Massage increases circulation and rings out tight muscles and tissues in the body from stressful mental and physical activity. Go for a massage, hop on a foam roller/therapy balls, or have your loved one give you a back rub. The feeling of touch is comforting, healing and eases the physical effects of stress on the body.

MOVE

Movement is medicine as many experts indicate. Channeling that stress into movement can increase energy, improve concentration and help with sleep. Stress can leave the body exhausted, unmotivated, and in extreme cases lead to illness. If there’s a way to move each day, why not try it? Walk, run, take a dance class, do yoga or grab a fit bit and count your steps!

Manage stress with these tools in order to find relief when life get’s in the way.

Sources:

https://www.adaa.org/understanding-anxiety/related-illnesses/other-related-conditions/stress/physical-activity-reduces-st

Biel, Andrew. Trail Guide to the Body, Fourth Edition. Boulder, CO: Books of Discovery, 2010.

6 Cues I Stopped Giving In Yoga Class

Disclaimer: I am not a doctor. The advice I give in my blog posts should in no way take the place of a doctor's expert opinion. I am a yoga and movement educator that loves studying the human body. Take everything I say with a grain of salt and form your own conclusions from your personal experience. Thank you!- Lauren

There are common phrases used in the yoga teaching community that are often learned in teacher trainings or overheard in classes. It could be filler words like, “let go,” “breathe,” or generic cuing that asks different bodies to do the same thing. Communicating in this way makes it easy to flip on the autopilot switch, eventually losing the connection to each student in the room.

The comfort of repetition is hard to slip out of (I am guilty of this) but the responsibility of instructing people to move their bodies in a safe way should be the motivation to change the message you are sending. Ask yourself, “Why am I teaching this pose? How will my student’s benefit from the cues I give? Why are some cues and poses right or some not so right for certain bodies?” Studying the human body in relationship to yoga is the first step in discovering new ways to deliver a safe, unique, and powerful class.

Slide shoulder blades down your back! This cue is used a lot in yoga when the shoulders are in full flexion. For example, poses such as urdhva hastasana (upward salute), warrior 1, high or low lunge, tree, and chair pose.   

The scapula (shoulder blade) moves through abduction (protraction), adduction (retraction), elevation, depression, posterior and anterior tilting, and upward rotation. When the arms are raised in full flexion of the shoulder, the scapula moves in upward rotation, tilts posteriorly at its end range, and externally rotates. Asking the shoulder blades to slide down the back (or jamming shoulders down) once shoulders are in full flexion can cause stress to the levator scapula, upper trapezius and interrupts the natural movement of the shoulder area.  

Tuck your tailbone! Overused in postures such as warrior 2, high lunge, and chair pose.

Most people carry their bodies in misalignment due to everyday activities and habits. It could be a sway back, (excessive lordosis in the lumbar area) or they have a posterior tilt of the pelvis that can lead to hips pushing forward past their waistline. Asking people to tuck their tailbone who are already doing so naturally is only overemphasizing their postural habits and misalignment.

The pelvis is most healthy when it is neutral to the floor, with the pubic bone and coccyx in equal distance to the ground. When the pelvis is asked to tuck or posteriorly tilt, the low back muscles are overstretched and the lumbar spine is pulled flat. The muscles of the body have to overcompensate for this constant misalignment.

The psoas, for example, is a deep core muscle that stabilizes the spine, affecting posture and overall well-being. It originates at the 12th thoracic vertebrae towards the lumbar spine and through the pelvis, connecting to the lesser trochanter of the femur bone. For some people, consistently tucking the tailbone can shorten the psoas muscles in the front of the body, compromising the lower back and eventually causing hip and back pain overtime.

Square hips to the wall in warrior 2! Sometimes people newer to the practice confuse warrior 1 and warrior 2. This cue is used sometimes to give them an understanding of where their body should be in space. However, one of the issues when repeating, “square hips to the wall in warrior 2,” is what’s happening in the front hip. When a student is asked to maintain the alignment of the front knee and move the pelvis square to the wall, the front femur and hip bones start to compress. Forcing this alignment can overstretch and break down the soft tissue, ligaments, and tendons in that front hip, eventually causing bone on bone contact. Avoid using too much pelvis talk in warrior 2 to maintain the safety of the students in class.

Draw your shin parallel in half pigeon! The hip joint is only capable of a certain amount of external rotation. In half pigeon, the front hip is in flexion and the femur bone is in external rotation. Once the hip has hit its end range, the knee takes over for that rotation and starts to twist on its own. Unfortunately, the knee joint is only made to flex and extend and any forced rotation in the knee can create damage over time. Adding the weight of the upper body sitting or laying on this joint puts more pressure on the knee as well. When the instructor asks you to draw your shin parallel to the front of the mat, this can overstretch or eventually tear the lateral collateral ligament of the knee. Some practitioners can do this posture easily, while other’s push to make it happen. Keep in mind the abilities of ALL students in the room when giving cues in class.

Spread fingers really wide/energy through fingertips!  This is common in down dog, plank postures, arm balances and any posture with hands up in the air. Overstretching and exaggerating movements in the body can cause stress over time. The same goes for the hands as they are directly connected to the shoulders. It is important to spread the fingers evenly in postures if the hands are crunched together. However, once the hands are spread and the student hears, “Spread your fingers WIDE,” they think, “WIDER,” and the natural placement of the hands becomes misaligned. Watch how far the pinky spreads in comparison to the other fingers, especially when putting weight on the hands. When the pinky is abducted out to the side it puts the fingers in an unnatural placement that could ultimately lead to wrist, elbow, and shoulder pain.

Listen to your body. This is the yoga teacher’s anthem on repeat. Think of creative ways to ask your students to go within without sounding like a broken record.

A yoga instructor’s words have a lasting impact on the student’s who hear them. Discovering new ways of cuing or using descriptive action words while instructing students will keep the material fresh. These cues aren’t the worst thing in the world to say, it’s just another way of looking at what you’re saying and why you’re saying it. When a yoga teacher is informed with new information, the class will feel inspired and motivated in their practice.

Resource: Trail Guide to the Body, Revised 5th Edition by Andrew Biel

5 Skin Care Tips My Mother Taught Me

Ever since I can remember, my mother has been a skin care aficionado. As a little girl, I would watch her apply moisturizer as if she was using some magic elixir made of gold and fairy dust. At a very young age, I started to use my mother’s moisturizer on my face before I went to bed and in the morning. Now 21 years later, minus a few stints in the tanning salon and awful sunburns I’d like to forget, I have followed her advice to a “T”.

Here are 5 skin care tips my mother taught me…

Stay out of the sun. In high school, I would bake in tanning beds and lay out in the sun like all the girls did in the late 90s. I loved the glow of my skin and how much better it made me feel and look. The warm sun beating down on me as school was coming to an end and all I had to think about was how dark I could get. Each summer like clockwork, my mother would say, “You’re going to get wrinkles!” I would roll my eyes at her and reply, “Oh mom, who cares!” Until one day my tanning oil did me wrong and my white Irish skin burned to a crisp. From that day forward I traded the oil for sunblock and never looked back. (Seriously, be careful in the sun. I am susceptible to skin cancer because my father had it on his chest. Avoiding the sun does save your skin from aging but saving your life from Melanoma is a much better reason.)

Put sunscreen on the back of your hands. Huh? What!? Who would think to do this? My mother! “Take care of your hands now!," is what my mother always says. When I turned 30, I started putting lotion and sunblock on the tops of my hands because of how much they were exposed to the sun. My family is prone to moles and beauty marks and over the years I’ve had many removed and tested for cancer. Each year new ones pop up and most recently have developed on my left hand…the hand that is always in the sun from driving. Nowadays, sunblock is a normal habit of most people but a lot of times it's only used when going to the beach or spending the day outdoors. In general, wearing sunblock on a daily basis, even in the winter, is so much better for your skin in the long run. (Tip from mom: Keep a sunblock stick in your car and rub it over your hands and face before you get going.)

Drink water. Ok, to be honest my mom isn’t the biggest water drinker. But, I added it to the list because I love water and drink it all the time. It’s also the most obvious and if you aren’t drinking water now, DO IT. I definitely think my water drinking habit has saved me from a lot of the damage I did to myself in my teens and twenties. Drink water! It’s the best thing for you.

Limit booze- Do you ever wake up after a night of drinking and look puffy and red in the face? Yea…it’s not cute. I think I was puffy and red from 17 to yesterday. Since I haven’t been drinking much or at all, I’ve noticed a huge change in my complexion and even the feel of my skin. I’m not an expert, but my skin feels softer and much more clear with less booze in my system. Replace that extra cocktail with a glass of water! Water, water, water! It works!

Use moisturizer morning and night. Skin care rituals are a great habit to get into and will pay off in the long run. From a young age I used my mother’s Clinique facial moisturizer, but now we switched to Argon oil or Coconut oil. (Ever wonder why my face always looks shiny????? There ya go!) I’ve found that Argon oil isn’t as greasy on my face as Coconut Oil, but love them both the same. After washing my face, I apply oil to my chest, neck, face, and hands. Always apply up! Never down! And don't forget your chest! 

Aging is a beautiful thing. The lines on our face are a road map to the experiences we’ve been through and the stories we can tell. The little lines near our eyes and around our mouths are the years of laughter and happy moments that we will never forget. Age gracefully but don’t let father time rush it too much.

4 Tips for Surviving a Setback

Do you ever think to yourself, “Wow life is pretty good right now! I have everything I’ve asked for. I’m healthy, successful; I have a great relationship, and even money in the bank.” But just as that thought drifts out of your mind, BOOM, a major set back lands in your lap. Whether it’s a health concern, getting fired from your job, or a painful breakup, life is turned upside down. You feel confused and unsure if it will ever get easier. Whether it’s a few weeks, months, or even a few years of your life, know that you can get through it and things will get better.

Here are 4 tips for surviving a setback. Carry them with you throughout 2017 and beyond.

Reach out for help. The positive energy that comes from family, friends and acquaintances in times of need is extremely powerful. No one knows what’s going on with you except for you. Sometimes you can’t do it all and need support from other people. Take care of your mind and body first and ask for help when needed. Your health and mental state are more important than anything else. Seek comfort in friendship and guidance from those around you. You will find that true friends show up for you when you least expect it.

Go holistic. Try reiki, acupuncture, or a change in diet. If you are dealing with a medical condition and are frustrated with traditional medicine, try holistic avenues (with the guidance of professionals). You never know what the magic of positivity, change in diet, and a different perspective can do for your well-being. Sometimes just a therapeutic appointment with a holistic practitioner can calm the mind in a way that is much needed.

Keep chasing your dreams. Do one thing everyday that makes you feel good about yourself. When you are in the depths of a set back, you start to watch other people through a picture perfect lens as if they are all flourishing and gliding through life. This can make you doubt your self worth and put limits on your aspirations. Keep in mind the most difficult experiences build the strongest people. Use that strength to work on unfinished projects, a creative endeavor, or a health goal. Keep moving forward. Once the dust has settled, you will be happy that you kept going.

Stay positive. Meditate, exercise, or rest the body. The key to surviving a set back is to keep your spirits up as much as you can. It’s very easy to slip into a dark place especially when you’ve been at a standstill for longer than you’d like. When you feel as though it’s impossible to get out of the slump you are in, dig as deep as you can for the strength to make it through. Take a few moments out of your day for quiet. Whether it’ a few minutes of meditation, a walk outside, or a relaxing bath, you will begin to notice that it will all add up and make a difference in how you feel. Things always get better, even if in the moment it doesn’t seem that way.

To survive a set back you have to trust life a little bit. Stay positive, keep friends close, and treat your body right. You will be happy you did when this all blows over…because no matter the outcome, you will end up right where you are supposed to be.

When I Hit A Wall And Found My Way

I have been dealing with undiagnosed dizziness that has hindered me from my daily routine. I can't workout, practice, or teach yoga. Recently, I have had to give up some classes because of how I feel and it has been a scary and vulnerable time for me. Because of my circumstances, it has given me a moment to think of the past and reminisce of the experiences that have placed me where I am today (minus this medical hiccup). 

I was always an insecure kid, but confident in creativity. When it came to paying attention in school, you would see me drifting off into outer space, dreaming of being somewhere else or being someone else. My grades were poor but my dreams were big, which was not a good combination. I fell in love with theater in 6th grade because of the escape it created for me. The thrill of the audience, the magic in the air, and adventures with unique and interesting people. After high school, I moved to New York City to pursue musical theater and acting. Like many stories, I was that little fish in a huge ocean of hungry sharks, chasing fame and opportunity. During those crazy, exhilarating, and stressful years was when I found yoga.

Yes, a story like this is so common. “I was lost and then I found yoga.” But my story is a bit more about the stars aligning at the moment right when I hit a big brick wall. It’s about the right people being at the right place at the right time.

Read on.

Yoga and me didn’t click from the start. It was an awkward encounter every time we would meet. But, I took my time with it and didn’t care about the end result. It was so different than performing or auditioning. I always felt bad about myself in a room full of actors in New York City. When they would talk about their achievements, I would crawl into my shell hoping no one would ask who my agent was. While acting was something I was passionate about, the industry in New York sucked out my drive and ambition. I became very disjointed and insecure in the process of doing what I loved and that’s when I knew I had to make a change.

One day after a much needed yoga class, I saw a sign on the studio door for their first ever 200hour yoga teacher training. It felt like a smack in the face from someone watching over me. Even though I wasn’t ready, something pushed me to do it anyway. I ignored every eye roll and sly comment from people in my life. “But you’re not athletic.” “Are you going to do this for a living?” “Are you any good at yoga?” I didn’t care. I just felt it was something I NEEDED to do.

It was through yoga where I found my voice, confidence, and desire to learn. But, it was a long road to get there.

I signed up for my first teacher training with little yoga experience. Every time I left one of our classes during teacher training, I would shake my head and say, “What was I thinking? I will never be able to do this!” For a long time I was right. I couldn’t do it. I had trouble explaining EVERYTHING and the teaching presence wasn’t there for me. I think I was still trying to play a character instead of just being me. But, that force that pushed me towards signing up to become a teacher kept pushing me to keep trying. 

After graduation I wanted to build my resume so I took any opportunity that came my way. I would teach one person in an office at a low-income housing unit all the way on the West Wide or trek to Flushing Queens (yes, I did that) to teach for the Boys Club of New York for $30. Slowly, I found a bit more confidence, because I was proud of myself for getting work, any kind of work. I was in NYC, which was the epicenter for all things yoga and fitness. Trying to get a teaching gig with no experience, no connections, a weak practice was more than a challenge. So, I took the most bizarre teaching gigs for free, just to teach.

One day I heard about an “audition” at New York Health and Racket Club. (Of course I found another field where you have to audition! Go. Friggin. Figure.)

New York City yoga auditions are often a room full of 20-30 people in a “round robin” set up. The interviewer calls out a name and a person teaches for 3 minutes and the next person goes and so on.  It’s a NIGHTMARE. Once you get involved in the yoga teaching community, you know everyone. You know who to stay away from and who to gravitate towards. Being so new to the industry, I didn’t know a soul so I sat back and observed. I observed the experience, the nervous people like me, and I observed the egos.

One ego in particular was this dancer-type, (let’s call her Ginger) with full hair and makeup. She came in late and sat in the front row. When it was her time to teach and represent who she was, she had a very dramatic fight with the interviewer and stormed out like a maniac. This was all in her 3 minute “round robin” teaching interview by the way. I remember smirking to myself saying, “You my friend are an a-hole.” Right after that, my name was called.

I never heard back about the teaching job and gave myself a tiny pat on the back for showing up and having the guts to do it. But, I did wonder to myself if I had made a mistake with the whole yoga teacher thing. Did history repeat itself? Will I ever be a great yoga teacher and have a bunch of classes at a studio? Or am I destined for failure once again?

A few weeks later I landed another audition at a little boutique studio in Midtown that was a spin studio also offering yoga. I was so nervous because I reallllly wanted this one. When I got on the elevator to go up to the audition, guess who got on the elevator with me??? Ginger! Seeing her again, sent this rush of adrenaline through my body. I know what you’re thinking… “It’s not uncommon to see the same people in yoga auditions in New York City, Lauren!” I know, I know. But we both got on the elevator at the same time and rode it up together alone. I think there is something in that...

When I saw Ginger, all of my nerves disappeared and I felt like she was there for a reason. In the few seconds I rode the elevator with her, I had an epiphany. She was at another audition, which meant she still needed work and she looked nervous. Her behavior and energy was so negative at the last audition, there must have been a reason for that. I instantly felt sorry for her. I realized that day that that’s how we have to think as teachers. Everyone is going through something. It’s our job to help them through it and take ourselves out of the equation. Take our judgments and personal opinions out of it. To this day I have to remind myself that, every, single, day.

There was a reason why I crossed paths with her. Ginger was the person to give me the confidence I needed for that audition. When my name was called, I got up and felt completely at ease. Something strange happened to me. For the first time teaching, I was myself. I cracked an awkward joke (which has become my thing) and the whole room started laughing. I even saw a tiny smile from Ginger. Or maybe she had gas? Who knows? It was at that exact moment I found out who I was as a teacher. It was at that exact moment I realized what I needed to do as a teacher. Be yourself and show up to help. That's it. You're there to help these people. Whatever the reason. It took Ginger’s mental breakdown to make me realize it. I got an email the next day saying I got the job. My first real yoga teaching job at a studio. They told me it was because of my personality.  I thank Ginger for that. 

When you don't feel well, it's hard to teach people to feel well. That's one of the reason's why I can't teach a lot of yoga right now. For 7 years I have showed up trying to help people. Now I am the one who needs help. If you woke up today feeling really good, take a deep breath in and let out a long grateful exhale. Do it for me.

The Importance of Friendship

I lived in New York City for almost 10 years. My life there was exciting, fun, chaotic, and at times irresponsible. The instability of my life there made for so many chance encounters, forming relationships with people that shaped and molded my 20's.

The majority of those 10 years I worked for a handbag designer who taught me so much about being creative and allowing passion to serve as a tool for the choices I made in life. She made me fall in love with New York City all over again, every time she mentioned a new art exhibit or the fabulous indie movie she came across at Cinema Village. She would always recommend the best books or introduce me to new music. She supported everything I was pursuing and gave me the confidence to go for it. Working for her was one of the best experiences of my life.

I also spent a lot of my time working in restaurants, something that many do in New York City to stay afloat. Anyone who has ever worked in a restaurant knows how close the staff become, especially with long hours and many shifts. You work together, go out together, ride home together, and spend holidays together. Those are the relationships that have molded me and helped me grow. The friendships I made during that time felt like ones that would last forever. I took for granted the mornings filled with endless cups of coffee and long talks about love, money, and the future. My friendships in New York made me feel comforted and fulfilled. I felt like New York City had wrapped its arms around me saying, "It's ok Lauren, we got you."  

Then, out of nowhere I decided to move out of the city. I left for so many reasons, but one of those reasons was to make a better life for myself. I doubted my move for a long time and clung onto everyone I knew there, hoping my relationships wouldn't fizzle out. For a long time after I moved, I wasn't able to admit that I didn't live there anymore. I kept saying, I'll be back soon. After about three years of being away, almost all of those friendships I had, the ones that I thought were for life, slowly drifted away. As with many friends, we all went our separate ways, some staying in touch and others not at all. 

For most of 2016, I've been sick with undiagnosed dizziness and recently felt worse than ever. Spending almost 2 months in my apartment alone, not going out and texting rather than talking to people on the phone, I've realized the importance of friendship. Having friends around and hearing their voices on the phone does so much for my confidence and spirit. I've gone long streaks with little communication with friends and notice a difference in my overall well being. A good friend gives you confidence, emotional support, and a reason to laugh. 

I've noticed that not feeling well forces you to rely on so many people for help, even if you try to avoid it. It was hard for me to let go of the life I had in New York City and all of the fun times with friends there. It seemed at the time we were all in the same boat, riding the wave together. As I've gotten older, I still look for those types of relationships. The ones where you feel like you're in it as a team. Although the outside may look different, I've learned we are all dealing with the same things in different ways. 

In the past few days, I've craved good conversations with friends as I maneuver my way through the new life I have made for myself, especially on days when I don't feel well. New experiences can lead to lifelong friendships that fit together perfectly. The way it's supposed to be. I'll always have the memories of working for an amazing designer who taught me so much about life and the times with friends that can still make me laugh. That will never change.

There are a few people that I have reached out to for support and for the first time feel that same sense of warmth I did during my time in the city. Those arms are wrapped around me again, this time holding on longer than before.

Why It’s Ok To Be Single In Your 30’s

I have found that as I get older my single circle gets smaller. The fun group of women with impulsive ideas and zero responsibility are now mothers, wives or in relationships of their own. My happiness for them is sincere as I have never put dating and being in a relationship on my priority list. My timeline in life is a bit slower than most and now that I am in my early 30’s I find the pressure to be like everyone else a bit overwhelming.

I am a free spirit and extremely comfortable with being by myself. But I feel suffocated by the questions and sad looks from those inquiring about my personal life. I certainly do not want to be alone forever but it does not eat away at me the way others think it should.

My background in yoga and spirituality has given me insight into the universe and its mysterious inner workings. There is an order to our lives, (believe it or not) and that order happens in time no matter what hurdles we have to jump over. For me, what never made sense in the past, always ended up making sense in the present. If a horrible dating life and years of being single is what will ultimately bring me to the right person, then I am ok with waiting for that.

Everyone is running at his or her own pace and goals vary depending on the person. Some want marriage and kids, others desire a high profile career and many want to travel the world. These goals run in different orders for each individual and the key to happiness is remembering that.

Being in my 30’s are some of the best years of my life. I have found that many women are in the same position as me and I want them to know it is ok.

Here is a little bit of levelheaded advice from one single woman to the next.

It is 100% ok to be single. The world will not stop spinning on its axis because you are single. Life will go on the way it is supposed to. Being alone does not have to be lonely. The times when we are alone are when we really learn about who we are and what we truly want. With clarity comes answers to burning questions and those answers guide us toward our true path.

Don’t let other people’s opinions affect how you feel about yourself. It is human nature for people to spew out their insecurities onto the next person in order to make themselves feel better. Those who would be miserable single could never understand how a person would be happy single. They pry and judge because of their confusion. If you are unhappy being single, remember in time the right person will come along. Look at all of the success stories out there.

Don’t settle. Find out who you are first before jumping into a relationship. Live your life with authenticity, passion, and keep running towards the direction you seek. Do not take a pit stop because you think the road is too long.

Limit your time as a hermit.  (I have to follow this for myself.) Although it is ok to be alone, do not make it a habit. When you get into the rut of being alone for an extended period of time, it is hard to get out of it. There is comfort in staying home, but try to be around friends as much as possible. Accept invites out and make sure your single ways do not turn into a reality TV show topic.

Be open to many possibilities out there. What you seek may not be what ends up standing in front of you at the end of the day. Try to be open to what could be thrown in your direction. That does not necessarily mean men. A new job, living in a different place, or saying yes to a coffee date with a friend can all lead to what is meant to be in our lives. As cheesy as it sounds, it is true.

There are a lot of people out there writing on this topic and giving advice. I personally wrote this as a reminder to myself that it is ok to be single in my 30's. Always do what is best for you. You are the only one that knows what is going in in that head of yours. Laugh and enjoy the ride. 

4 Ways To Keep Your Confidence In A Yoga Class.

Many practice yoga in a studio rather than at home to experience the energy brought on by other students. Choosing to practice yoga with a room full of people can open the door to the depths of insecurity within us. As a yoga instructor, I often feel the pressure to be thin or have an advanced practice because of the rapidly expanding community of people who gravitate towards yoga everyday. I have witnessed the look of insecurity on so many faces and know what its like to fear entering a class based on the skill level. Because I have often struggled with self-acceptance in the past I am extremely aware and sensitive to those who feel bad about themselves. Although yoga reinforces self-awareness and staying present, it can often over emphasize the parts of ourselves that we struggle with the most. When insecurity overshadows your yoga practice, there needs to be an internal restructuring to break out of that negative mindset.

Here are 4 ways to keep your confidence in a yoga class.

Find inspiration. Find inspiration in other people’s accomplishments rather than creating jealousy or insecurity within. Allow other people’s achievements to be your motivation. Recognize their abilities and let that empower you to be the best version of yourself. You don’t have to be the best yogi in the room but when you are true to your body, that’s the most advanced practice of all.

Learn to let go. There is an interesting dichotomy between our yoga practice and our everyday lives. If there is insecurity and competition off of the mat, it will most certainly manifest itself back into your yoga practice. Walking into a class with heavy thoughts can bring on the worst parts of who we are. Envy, embarrassment, and pain can take away from finding peace in the moment. Learn to let go. Let go not only when you walk into class (because it will be there when you leave) but also when you step back into reality. Letting go is what ultimately brings us to our freedom.

Put things into perspective. The body’s capabilities are unbelievable. There are many people in the world that cannot walk or move their limbs at all. The action of stepping onto the mat is an achievement on its own. Holding any yoga posture demands an incredible amount of strength. Downward facing dog is a challenging posture that most people take for granted. Beginning practitioners find those common yoga postures difficult and may admire others from afar who are comfortable in them. Each person’s goal is unique and we will never really know what is going on in his or her mind. Why torture your own mind in the process? Put things into perspective and find power and confidence in your own personal achievement.

Be content. Be content with what is. When we fight life it will continue to battle with us. Be content with where your body is in the moment. The strengths, weaknesses, aches and pains all reflect the person you are and what you have been through. Be content with where you are in the moment for that moment is all there is.

Yoga is a moving meditation. The challenge is to keep the mind quiet, especially from distractions that take away from self-love. Training the mind to think differently and find stillness in the moment is like training a muscle. With persistence, the power to think positively will get stronger in time. 

Don't Hate Those Who Create!

I am a creative person, as many people are. The struggles involved with being creative (although at times it can be very rewarding/fulfilling) are the torturous times when the outside world tries to dull the creative process. There is a glow that creative people have when they accomplish a project or receive positive feedback about their work. It is a constant buzz of excitement and gratification that fills the body, knowing that your life's work is doing what you love. 

In a world that thrives off of excess and competition, making tons of money (no matter how much it kills your insides) is the goal for so many people. In my opinion, there is a fine line between stability/living well and making sure your car is the nicest on the block. Many people are stuck in their ways and if something is unfamiliar to them, then it is considered absurd. When people do not have a creative flair or a burning desire in them to try new experiences, they immediately think that those types of people are unstable and wild. 

As an actress in the past and a yoga teacher in the present, I have always come across individuals who do not understand my lifestyle. I have tried corporate environments and different types of "real jobs" that have sucked out any bit of happiness from the depths of my soul. I know that that particular lifestyle is not for me and I applaud those who work in corporate who make tons of money doing what they love. 

Over the past two years, I have been asked from many people what my real job is. The answer is, I am a yoga teacher. The cocked-eyebrows and side-eyed-stares in response to such absurdity has bothered me for a long time. Even before I was a yoga teacher, I was never in a type of career that looked good on paper or that sounded impressive to an Ivy Leaguer. I often cringe when I get asked what I do for a living because I know what the response will be. I am rarely surprised by a positive and supportive face, although it does happen occasionally. Career is such a status symbol. It drives me insane. I sometimes wish that I was the type of person who got straight A's in high school, went to the best college, went off to become a lawyer, doctor, or any other impressive career. But, that is not me. Those were not the cards I was dealt and I wish the world would understand that. Everyone has their own path to live.

If people were not yoga teachers then how would you do yoga? How would you de-stress and heal your body? If there were not aspiring actors, singers, and artists how would you be entertained? I wish the world would see the beauty in understanding that. 

About once per week, I get asked if I have found a job yet or if I have another job. I see the hope in their eyes for an answer that feeds their curiosity and gives them satisfaction as to how I make money. It makes people uncomfortable to think I could make a living doing what I enjoy. The responses I receive have really bothered me...until recently. I discovered that my life has been hindered in some ways because of my concern for what people think of me. I care too much about opinions and reactions because I guess I want that same buzz of joy that I have for what I do from everyone I meet. But I have realized that I love what I do and enjoy every day so why should someone's opinion take that away from me. (Most of the time that person is secretly envious or miserable in their own way and are projecting their pain on to me). I do not want to deal with that anymore.

Over the past couple weeks I have worked hard on not caring what other people think of my career choice. I noticed that my confidence has escalated and my work opportunities improved. It really is that easy. I need to continue with this mentality and so does everyone reading this. I have hindered my growth because of other people's opinions and I can't believe I have let that go on for so long.

Love what you do and shine a big confident smile in anyone's face who tries to take that away from you! Namaste!

Trust in the Magic of the Unexpected

I love this photo.  It was taken by a friend of mine this weekend in the Hamptons.  The photo represents exactly how I was feeling in the moment, happy, open, and full of light. 

I have read many quotes, magazine articles, and books on trusting the universe and staying open to the unknown.  I have tried to practice this advice, however sometimes it works and other times it is much more difficult.  I have noticed that if I am carefree about an issue and relaxed with what is, everything flows easily as these books and articles indicate.  When I am happy, I am gifted with great experiences and surrounded by loving and supportive people.  Why wouldn't I always have this mentality if that is the outcome?  Why do I forget how great life can be when I allow it to be great?  It's called being human.  

I went to the Hamptons Yoga Festival in East Hampton, NY this weekend.  It was my first visit to the area and hopefully the first of many more to come.  I traveled up there with a few people involved with a new magazine called NY Yoga + Life.  The weekend was filled with so much laughter and incredible yoga classes taught by Dana Flynn from Laughing Lotus and Sarah and Alan Finger from Ishta Yoga.  The energy spread by these magical instructors and the calm created by their teachings, assisted in the tranquility of the weekend.  For three days, each one of us were in sync, relaxed and happy to be there.    

When I was initially asked to go a few months back, I said yes without hesitation.  My personality is more of a thinker and less spontaneous in certain cases, especially when it is with people I do not know very well.  For some reason, I felt at ease with these women when spending short spurts of time with them in the past.  This was probably an indicator of what it would be like to go away with them and I subconsciously knew that.  Without much thought I completely trusted that the experience would be special.  I actually said to myself when hopping on the train to meet them, "This is going to be a great weekend."  And it was!  I think that is called MANIFESTING.

Occasionally when I have free time, I tend to overthink, especially about the future.  However, this time I was extremely present the entire weekend, even when I was traveling home in traffic.  Maybe it was the residual buzz of my weekend experience spent practicing yoga and laughing until I cried, or possibly it was the side effects of a few days gone right as the happier I was, the better it all unfolded.  Either way, I felt very peaceful.  All of the books I read and advice I receive echo's this same sentiment. When we are happy with how our lives are going, the universe (or whomever) sprinkles little gifts along the way to reward us with those thoughts.  At least that is what I have experienced.

After 3 hours in the car, I made my way on to the train back home.  In the midst of traffic and a tiny burst of exhaustion, I still felt great and smiled to myself as I looked out the window and reminisced about the past few days.  As the train became a bit more crowded, a man sat next to me as there were very few seats remaining.  Normally in these tight situations I keep to myself and avoid small talk.  I began to talk to this person and initiated conversation with him, which is a bit out of character for me.  After exchanging a few moments of small talk, it turned out he had a job opportunity in the same field I had been searching for work in.  Call it synchronicity, call it meant to be, but whatever it was, for me it was a gift from the heavens.

I am not trying to be all "kumbaya" and "crunchy granola" with this post, but I do think it all means something.  When things like this happen, I pay more attention to how I speak about myself or ways I respond to situations. This weekend proved to me that my thoughts and actions reflect the outcome of my life.  When I am negative, more of those negative things are delivered to me on a silver platter, one frustrating tray after another.  Who wants that? Not me!  

It is so much easier to feel happy and peaceful in the moment, but why is it so difficult to maintain?  As I said earlier in this post, it is called being human.  We say, "it s called being human," in certain cases because as humans we make mistakes, fall off the wagon. and have roller coaster lives.  Most of us acknowledge these things and try to work on ourselves.  In my case, I took hold of how positive I felt this weekend and ran with it.  It all felt very easy.  Sometimes it is not easy and I know that, but I am aware of how fortunate I am with this life.  I think that is a good step.

The Hamptons were so beautiful and I cannot wait to go back.  I finally understand why so many New Yorker's sit in endless amounts of traffic every summer.  I guess it is so they can find a little weekend of happiness, just like I did. 

Turning a Worrier into a Warrior

Let’s just say I am a worrier.  I get it from my mother’s side of the family.  I could worry about the smallest issues that make absolutely no sense at all or big things like family, health, and money.  That is why I do yoga.  It chills me out.

I have worried my entire life.   However, 2 years ago when I turned 30 my worry AND fear of entering a new decade collided.  The pressure of wanting to be where I thought I should and my, self diagnosed NWB (Neurotic Worrying Behavior) erupted.  I quit my job, moved out of the city, and changed everything…except for my thinking.  I spent the next year stressed and concerned about the decision I had made.   I created more to worry about.

I promised myself that when I turned 31, things would change.  It did not.   That year was, however, a transitional time for me mentally.  I spent most of my time reading tons of Marianne Williamson, Tosha Silver, Deepak Chopra, and articles upon articles of, “Self Help”.  I set intentions, vision boarded, yoga’d, cried, laughed, obsessed, and asked for advice.  Nothing helped.  Why?  Because, no matter what I did or how much I read, I knew deep down the only way to change was to JUST MAKE THE DECISION TO CHANGE.  I knew this to be true but why was it so hard to follow?  I began to ask myself, “What is this worry going to do for me anyway?”   I was creating problems in my mind that did not even exist.  I knew this, but could not let go of little things or stop thinking too far into the future.   (Again, this is why I do yoga.)  Out of frustration, I stopped all of the “Self Helping” and continued to go through each day with one goal in mind:  Happiness. 

I recently turned 32 and for the first time accepted the fact that I was growing another year older.  (It took me 2 years to get over the shock of my age starting with a number 3.)  Once I passed THE BIG 3-0 (and I mean passed…like 20 months passed) the weight subsided.   I took a deep breath and started to re-evaluate my patterns of thinking.  As 32 approached, I did not feel this heaviness on me like in the past.  I was actually looking forward to it.  I continued to say, “I like the sound of 32.”  I was not trying to force the thought into acceptance.  I actually believed it.   Good step!

Since the dawn of time, I have tortured my mother with this NWB.  Let us just say, she has had enough.  My mother is super strong, confident and listens to all of my concerns, even if I have to force her.  Her reply almost always is, “Who cares!”, “Just don’t give a shit.”  She has been telling me this for years, but I never listen.  I guess it is so much easier to stay in my comfort zone of worry.  Worry=my fallback.   

Then a few days after my 32nd birthday, I was grabbing a juice after working out. (Go me!)  I looked down at a table (decorated with tons of funny inspirational quotes) to see this…

“Everything is great when you don’t give a shit!”  I felt like it was a sign from the UNIVERSE:  “Listen to your mother!!!!!”  I guess mothers do always know best. 

I am not going to say, from that moment on everything changed.  That would not be true, authentic, or classic Lauren.   What I will say is that as I get older my mother’s words make more sense.  It’s a challenge to switch my way of thinking instantly.  I view it as adding a different ingredient into the mix.  Along with my worrying ways, a dash of happiness could change the taste. 

“Be happy for this moment. This moment is your life.”

— Omar Khayyam

We all have the tools to be happy.  Live in the moment.  Let the past go.  Lead life with a loving heart.  Let the universe take over.  But why is it so hard to listen to this advice?  We have read or heard this time and time again, “Happiness is a choice.”, “Happy people just make the decision to be happy every day.”   But why is it so hard to make that choice?  It is much more difficult to live a life of fear, pain, jealousy, sadness, and anger.   One would think that a simple switch in our thinking would be easier.  Shouldn't it be simple enough to say, “Who cares! Don’t give a shit?”  “Everything is great when you don’t give a shit!”  Right?

What I have realized is that happy people are at peace.  They go through life with the, “who cares” mentality.  Happy people are also strong.  They are true WARRIORS.  I know so many of them both men and women.  So, why can’t I turn this WORRIER into a WARRIOR?  This is my goal for the year.  I think I’ll always be worried in some way.  But I know that I am capable of turning that weakness into strength.  To me that is a true WARRIOR.

32 is the year of the warrior.  I like the sound of that. 

I'd like to EXTEND an invite, to stop your hyperEXTENsion!

My previous blog post mentioned a mild elbow injury that I was experiencing after practicing yoga and attempting to lift weights.  Safe to say, I now feel 100%!  My body naturally healed itself over time as I was extremely aware of my injury and took precaution.  Since this occurrence, I have elbow fever and constantly look at elbows in my yoga classes or at anyone in general.  What I’ve noticed is that there are countless amounts of people who hyperextend in the elbow.  I never realized how common it was until my new obsession went full force. 

What I’ve found is that most people ARE aware that they hyperextend, but do not realize how often it happens or the injurious affects it has on their bodies.     

• Hyperextension is common in the elbows, knees, and hips.  In regards to the elbow, hyperextension occurs when it is bent beyond comfortable range of motion.  This overstretching damages bones and ligaments which can cause serious injury.  

These injuries occur mostly during strenuous activity.  For example, when practicing yoga.  The common yoga postures that overstretch the arm for those who hyperextend are:

• Downward Facing Dog
• Plank Pose
• Side Plank
• Warrior 1 and 2
• Wheel Pose
• Postures involving interlaced fingers with hands behind the back.  
• Handstand

Notice how this woman’s bottom elbow is hyperextended.

The elbow is bent back in the wrong direction in these postures.  With the weight of the body adding extra pressure to the elbow, this can cause major injury and permanent damage.  

What to do?  Try these tips which have helped me with my elbow issues! 

·         Be aware of your body in space

·         Micro bend your elbows in weight bearing postures or exercises

·         Don’t lock out your arms

·         Drop to knees in Plank Pose or Side Plank

·         Drop to forearm in Downward Facing Dog, Side Plank, Plank Pose

If you are one to hyperextend or have elbow injury, taking precaution is an important step in keeping your body healthy.  Whether you are working out or maneuvering through daily activity, keep in mind a few of these easy tips.  It helped me out so I'm sure it can help you!  Namaste!

Practice Safely!

“Listen to your body.”  That phrase should be repeated on my playlists as I overemphasize caution like a broken record in class.  If your shoulders are screaming to cool it with the Chaturangas or your low back has had enough Backbends for the day, it is always best to listen to those signals.  I can't stress that enough.  Ever since my Yoga Tune Up® Teacher Training with Jill Miller (www.yogatuneup.com) I have become hyper aware of safety both in my own practice as well as my students' practice.  Over time no matter what form of exercise you do, injury can be caused if alignment is improper. There are times however, when our bodies don’t give us those signals, warning us about injury.  In turn, we carelessly whip our bodies around in class until one day our aches, pains, and tears just pop up and say HELLO!  Ouch!

I teach a lot of hot power yoga and I am in a constant struggle to keep my classes powerful but safe.  Safe for students as well as for me when demoing postures in class.  As teachers, demoing postures can cause serious damage if we are not warm.  Popping up into a pose when we are cold is death for the joints, muscles, and tendons!  Breaking down asana in a class is an excellent way for students to learn but, protecting yourself as a yoga teacher is equally important.  I have been blessed to have little or no injuries from practicing yoga.  My body has always felt great and at times I feel invincible.  It’s natural to feel that way because our minds don’t grasp what we haven’t experienced yet.  But for me, something had been brewing and I had no idea.  I am very careful when I teach but sometimes I make decisions to demo quickly and later think to myself, “That wasn’t a great idea”.  Jill Miller’s Yoga Tune Up® teachings discuss targeting areas of that body that are overused, underused, or misused.  In my case, I was overusing and over working my elbow without any warning from my body.     

I can’t remember the exact moment when I injured myself but I started to feel as If I had hit my funny bone in my right elbow.  The numbness traveled down my forearm towards the pinky finger.  It seems to be Ulna Nerve Sensitivity (http://orthoinfo.aaos.org/topic.cfm?topic=a00069).  I took a break from practicing and thought it was getting better until my shoulder, bicep, elbow, wrist, and all 5 fingers felt a dull pain.  The thought of lowering down into Chaturanga or lifting weights sends shivers down my spine.  I never fully appreciated my healthy body until this moment.  Why is that always the way???  This experience has definitely opened my eyes to safety when practicing and teaching.  It’s so important to take care of our bodies to live a healthy, long, and beautiful life.  Here’s to hoping my elbow gets better quickly! Namaste!

Let It Go!

Ever since the movie Frozen came out I can’t go a day without hearing Idina Menzel sing, “Let it Go!”  I have two nieces ages 3 and 5 who absolutely love that song.  They sing it on the top of their lungs, arms wide and hearts open.  The glow on their faces and the happiness it brings them is the best thing to see.  I find myself walking around singing “Let it goooooooo,” to myself on occasion.  The message of the song is very empowering and liberating.  I really don’t know anyone who could sing those lyrics without a huge smile on their face.  The correlation between letting go and happiness is something I started to think about recently.

I find one of the most challenging things to do is to have the strength to let go.  Letting go of negative thinking, memories, material items, arguments, friends, or relationships is scary.   We hold on longer than we should for many reasons, but mostly because of fear.   We hold on to a relationship in hopes that things will get better or hopeful it will change.  We hold on maybe because we are fearful of being alone.  Sometimes we hold on to anger from an argument we may have had with a friend or significant other.  We obsess over what was said or what could have been said differently, filling our souls with toxic energy.  Sometimes we hold on to memories of the past or recreate memories that seem like happier times when in reality they were not.   

I recently was in a situation that I knew was not good for me.  My inner voice was telling me to run for the hills but I was ignoring it.  I knew right away that it wasn't right for me but I was holding on longer than I should.  During that time, I wasn't myself.  I felt lost, unfocused, uninspired and sad.  The momentum I was creating in my career had been halted because I had focused all of my energy on the one thing that caused me pain.  It took me a while but I dug deep and realized I was wasting my time putting all of my attention and energy into something that only caused me pain.  As soon as I “Let it Go,” I was able to breathe again.  New opportunities started flowing in for me and the appreciation for my friendships grew stronger.  Each day became easier and I felt the power to inspire my students again in my yoga classes.  Every experience is an opportunity to learn.  Even if it’s a hard lesson.      

Having the mentality to let things go truly opens our hearts, releases toxic vibes, and clears our paths for new possibilities.  If we learn to let go we open our hearts to new people, adventures, and lessons.  Something truly transformative and beautiful could be right around the corner if we simply just, “LET IT GO!”  

Looks can be deceiving my friend

"Looks can be deceiving."  I have found this to be true on numerous occasions. Our perception of reality and what is actually real do not coincide.  The best example of this is negatively judging a stranger on first handshake.  Like a dope you learn their story and realize you were completely wrong about them.  Generally, we form opinions about people/places without learning more about who or what is truly underneath the surface.  In these times, everyone ( I say everyone but I know not evvverryone) is on high alert and scared of anything that doesn't look like them.  It makes me sad.   

My first trip out of the country was to Marrakech, Morocco.  

Danielle Stack Photography

Those of you who have visited, might be wondering why I chose such an exotic location for my first stint out of the U.S..  It was a spur of the moment thing.  A bunch of my friends had been traveling for some time and I was envious of the memories they were creating.  I wanted to experience life outside of my comfort zone and go see the world. 

My roommate Danielle had just come back from Brazil with her contagious traveling bug in tow and I wanted to catch it.  I felt inspired by her stories and craved the chance to experience it for myself.  After many long conversations and "Googling" sessions, we booked a flight to Portugal.  Two days into our trip we were on a flight to Marrakech having no clue what to expect.  I was a nervous wreck and doubled over in anxiety.  (Portugal was not much of a shock to me because Lisbon was like a second New York City).  As the plane landed in the Marrakech Airport, I embodied the motor skills of the Tin Man.  I was scared out of my mind and felt like I was never going to see my family again.  There were so many men everywhere and most of them cab drivers harassing us to hop in their cab.  All of my senses were on overdrive and from the outside I must have looked like a deer in headlights.        

Looking back, I laugh thinking about this.  I was so scared of what I didn't know.  But isn't that where a lot of judgment and prejudices come from...fear?  

We stayed in Marrakech for 4 days and by the end, I wished it was longer.  After getting over the sudden impact of the people and culture, I was in love with the beauty and excitement of Morocco.  To this day I still quote, "Welcome to Morrocccoooo," that was a common phrase among the people there.  Most of the Moroccans I came in contact with were so nice and friendly. (There were some jerky people but there's always a skunk in the mix wherever you go.)

My favorite memory was when I slept overnight in the Sahara Dessert.  I've never seen stars so crisp and clear and probably won't ever again.  

(Below is a picture of me and Mohammed... My bro.)  I will have these memories etched in my brain forever.  If I didn't take that chance and delve into the depths of the unknown, my eyes wouldn't have been opened to see what was really there all along. 

Be True to You

"Do what you feel in your heart to be right, for you will be criticized for it anyway."- Eleanor Roosevelt

Are you someone who cares what others think of you? Or are you able to disconnect from how you are perceived by living life based on what makes you happy?  I have always admired people who could care less what others think of them.  

Human interaction would be completely different if we were always our authentic selves.  If we didn't care about being judged, there would be less pressure to please others. Our masks would be unveiled,  presenting who we truly are.   

It's very easy to allow someone's opinion of you to change your mood or love in yourself.  I was initially attracted to yoga because it was the first place I didn't feel judged.  It sounds cliche but it is very true.  I am a creative person who lives life a bit outside the box.  I often hear this a lot,  "You're not married!?", "You're a yoga teacher?"  "You actually like living in New York City?"  (Questions like these give me the opportunity to react in two ways.  Either shrink up into a little ball and immediately feel judged or I could tell the person to go scratch.  Decisions, decisions.)  Once I delved deeper into my practice, I found that I truly focused on me.  It didn't matter if the whole room was in Chin Stand while I sat in Child's Pose.  I was just happy that I was sticking to a exercise routine for a long period of time.  There's something about being in that environment where I could let go and be me.  If you're not a yoga person, I challenge you to find something that makes you feel that way too.    

"Yoga is not about self-improvement. It's about self-acceptance." -Gurmukh Kaur Khalsa

No matter what we say or do, we will most likely be judged for it.  There are always parallels to life on and off our mats but how can we physically/mentally put this into action?

CONFIDENCE- It is your journey, not anyone else's.  Be confident in your decisions.  

COMPASSION- Know that everyone has their own issues and even if they seem like they are judging, they are probably envious of you.  Revel in it.  Whoops! I mean be compassionate towards them. :)

CLARITY-  Be clear in what you want out of life.  If you have a clear head and are focused on what you want, it really won't matter who's judging you or not.  

Life is really hard but absolutely breathtaking at the same time.  I'm gong to work on this and get back to you. xo

HOLIDAY HEAVYWEIGHT

It happens every year.  A momentary lapse in judgment called, Thanksgiving.  As soon as this wonderful familial food-fest, otherwise known as "STUFF YO FACE" rolls around, all bets are off.  I find myself diving head first into a bucket of carbs, starches, and sugars with a mug of booze on the side.  It's like I've been held captive for months while being subject to small rations of rice and snake meat.    

My smoothie addiction and yoga practice keep me in check as I try to live a healthy lifestyle throughout the year.  Overeating is very easy for me to do as I come from a long lineage of big eaters.  Family style portions for one person were common in my household growing up.   It took years of trying every diet in the book, until finally crashing and burning, to find something that worked for me.  But once I’m back together with family on Thanksgiving, my little angel called “Willpower” has taken a vaca and the “Holiday Heavyweight” is back in tow.  (I’d like to emphasize that I don’t think skinny and starving is cool.  I do think healthy eating and moderate splurges of desire, combined with a workout routine that you enjoy, IS cool.) With that said, the internal struggle of that damn proverbial wagon I’m trying to stay on during the holidays, is a challenge for me.    

Why is temptation so easy to fall for?  It can be sex, drugs, alcohol, or food, but any amount of temptation can throw you off balance in one decision. We all know this, but our desire outweighs our willpower causing us to jump ship into a sea of Thanksgiving stuffing.  Maybe it’s temptation or maybe it just a bunch of family members getting together to enjoy delicious food and drink with one another, or maybe we just really don't care.  Whatever it is, it got me thinking and that’s why I write this blog. 

I’m not kicking myself too hard for my turkey day feast, but I would like to have one holiday where I don’t change into sweat pants halfway through the day.  I know I can’t be alone here with this issue, but I would like to meet the Kelly Ripa wanna-be who stays in check during the holidays. Who are you???  Next up is Christmas and New Year’s (YAY!!!), so I have that to look forward to…Or do I??

Create Space

In the age of technology we are bombarded daily with advertisements and excessive email blasts. Iphones are glued to our hands as we Tweet, read Facebook status's and look at Instagram photos of people we hardly know.  We are constantly told what new fashion trends are happening for the season, the fad diet that will get us into our best bikini body, and what coupons will get us discounts on the trendy restaurant in town.  With technology and material items cluttering up our lives we have little room to breath and clear our minds.  If we let go of what no longer serves us and open up the possibility for more space, we will be able to introduce new things into our lives. YES!!!! 

I can get easily overwhelmed and feel like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders when my life is full of clutter.  When this happens, I immediately want to shed away all of the negative and bring in positive.  I try to let go of material items, clean my living space, and make an effort to have a daily yoga practice.

I spend a lot of time trying to find new ways to create space in my yoga practice whether its in my mind or in my body.  When I'm in a particular posture, I use my body as a guide to explore new ways to breath deeper.  Expansion and breath awareness brings me to a place where I can feel less cluttered and open to receive new things. Ideas, emotions, and new human interactions are much more available to me with an open mind and open heart.